The Problem

What's The Problem, and who is at fault?

It's not solely the fault of those evil and greedy corporate banksters,

nor the conspiracy theorists, or even the Occupy Wall Street crowd. Nor is it Al-Qaeda,

Alka-Seltzer, Al Capone, or ET Phone Home.

Nor is it the fault of M. Ahmedinejad or his half-brother James Dean-ejad, and it's certainly not the fault of the 'hedge fund hyenas', or Carlos 'the jackal', nor is it Jacques Brel, hair gel, the Eurotrash or Eurozone, the Marxists, the Feminists

the Atheists, the Christians, the Jews, the Blacks, the 'All-Blacks', black licorice, licorice root, root beer, root canals, The Panama Canal, Manuel Noriega, manual labour, the Labour Party, Gordon Brown, 'GoldenBrown', The Stranglers, 'new wave', the Mexican wave, tidal waves, tsunamis, Lao-Tzu, General Tao, Colonel Saunders, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Butter Chicken, Mango lassis, collies named 'Lassie', Rin Tin Tin, 'Snowy' the dog and Tin-Tin, The Tin Flute, Doug Flutie, The CFL, The NFL, the WLAF, The WWF, The W.H.O., The Who, Doctor Who, Horton Hears a Hoo, Tim Horton's, Dunkin' Donuts, Krispee Kreme, the 'Disraeli Gears' album by Cream, The 'White Album', The Beatles, the Rutles and Dirk McQuickly, Eric Idle and Monty Python, The Holy Grail, King Arthur, Bea Arthur, Maude, The Mods, the Rockers, Quadrophenia, nor schizophrenia.

And please don't blame our problems on The Knights Templar, Simon Templar, The Saint, The Prisoner, The Fugitive, Richard Kimble, David Janssen, 'Harry O', or Hawaii Five-O, Hawaiien Punch, Punch and Judy, Judge Judy, Judgement Day, Armageddon, Revelations, Genesis, Phil Collins, or even Judy Collins drinking a Tom Collins, or a Harvey Wallbanger, watching 'Harvey' the invisible rabbit, starring Jimmy Stewart, who was also in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, with John Wayne, or Wayne's World with Mike Meyers, or Oscar Meyer, Oscar Madison, Madison Square Garden, the garden of Eden, Barbara Eden, I Dream Of Genie, Bewitched, Dick York, New York,, the Manhattan project, Project Blue Book, The Roswell Incident, Area 51, Studio 54, Disco Music, Rap Music, or Gil Scott Heron.

It's not the fault of Don Cherry, Scott Oake, or an oak cask of single malt, pine wood mouldings, or mahogany furniture , nor is it the fault of Mahogany Rush, or Rush and Geddy Lee, Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Jet Ski, Gretzsky, Red Skis, Red Skelton, Red Story, Story Musgrave, the Space Shuttle, NASA, Nassau, The Bahama's, The Bermuda Triangle, Bermuda shorts, short bread cookies, the 'Cookie Monster', Kermit the Frog, Jim Henson, James Hanson's Global Warming, The Hanson Brothers, 'Slap Shot' with Paul Newman, Gary Numan, Gary Carter, Linda Carter, Wonder Woman, women's lib, The Liberal Party, The Tea Party, Sarah Palin, Michael Palin, 'A Fish Called Wanda', with Jamie Lee Curtis, Tony Curtis, Tony Randall, Felix Unger, Gary Unger, The St.Louis Blues, G.I. Blues, G.I.Gurdjieff and PD Ouspensky, PDF files Jpeg's, J-Lo, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Paris, France and the Eiffell Tower or the C.N. Tower in Toronto, nor Tonto and the Lone Ranger, Clayton Moore, Michael Moore, Michael Douglas, Douglas Addams, The Addams Family, The Munsters, Fred Gwynn, Gwynn Dyer, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Choprah, nor the Ubiquitous Oprah, and her 'O' Magazine, Mad Magazine, M.A.D.D. or Mothers with A.D.D. autism, 'down syndrome', The China Syndrome, Jane Fonda, Henry Fonda in 'Once Upon A Time In The West', or The Wicked Witch Of The West played by Margaret Hamilton, Princess Margaret, the royal family, Pippa Middleton, Rick Middleton, The Boston Bruins, the Boston marathon, The Olympic marathon, Abebe Bikila, Ethiopians, nor Utopians,

Not only is it not the fault of George Bush, Obama/Biden and Osama Bin Laden, M Ghadaffi or Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, Yosemite Sam, Sam I Am, Green Eggs and Ham and Dr Seuss, Hercules and the Mighty Zeus, the Centaur Newton eating 'Fig Newtons', or 'figgy pudding' and Bing Crosby, Jello Pudding and Bill Cosby, Sydney Crosby or Sydney Poitier, the Sydney Opera House, or The House of Wax with Vincent Price, playing the role of 'Egghead' in Batman with Adam West, or Mae West, or the 'May Day' parade.

It's not 'Jeopardy', nor 'the Wheel of Fortune',The Price Is Right and Bob Barker, Spiderman and Peter Parker

It's not so much the fault of Fox news, nor Michael J Fox, Michael Jordan, the King of Jordan

or the King of Rock n' Roll, Elvis Presley, Elvis Costello, Abbott and Costello, Laurel and Hardy

Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Ubervilles, The Hounds of The Baskervilles, or an 'American Werewolf in London' or Jack London, Jack Kerouac and the 'beat writers', or The English Beat and 'Ranking Roger', Roger Ramjet, and the

ramjet engine, Mr. Conductor and 'Thomas The Tank Engine', St.Thomas Aquinas, St.Francis of

Assisi, or Francis Bacon with Eggs with Toast, nor even six degrees of Kevin Bacon…

The problem is: those godless 'Black Friday' hoards of contemptuous and gluttonous 'consumers' grabbing anything and everything they can get their greedy little hands on, without care or conscience of consequence, discarding all dignity whilst attempting in vain to landfill the vast wasteland of their empty and wretched existence.

Dirty CT November 2011

Coffee Mate And Empire Decline

The O looks like the @ sign (a bit)

 Are there any women who truly seek to bond with a man? If the answer is YES, then where are these women, clicking away on their Macbooks at cafe's? But If the answer is EVERYWHERE, then you must be able to determine which women actually WANT this bond, and by understanding their unique methods of communicating their desire. 

With whom do they wish to engage in this act of mating? And if it's possibly YOU, how must YOU act, speak and look, in order to reaffirm, and thus satisfy their desire? Another crucial question is: What also must a male not do? This, of course, will depend upon the whims and capricious nature of the human female. 

A man can easily sabotage a woman's desire for intimate sexual relations by revealing information about his individual imperfections which may in turn have the negative effect of 'switching off' a given females desire. It has been my observation that women are attracted to a 'perception of confidence', and turned off by a 'perception of insecurity'. 

As a prospective male, it's far better to be a confident fool or asshole, then a righteous yet insecure moral person, as it relates to the act of mating itself. However, the quality of ones life, should a relationship ensue, will likely suffer by maintaining a life philosophy of mutual bullshitting and deception, for you will attract those certain females of the species who are more easily seduced due to their lack of better judgement. 

Once a bond takes place, often due to 'mutual attraction', all the dysfunction inherent in these individuals then manifests as problems or drama in their collective lives.

The ability of the male to 'project confidence' relieves the fears of a foolish female, by virtue of her ability to believe the myth of the males projected security. Contrast this to the females repugnance of 'male insecurity', which agitates and exacerbates the female's already fearful disposition. The insecure male is actually just being honest in his realization that he is but a small factor in a very large and often judgemental world. The confident man perhaps realizes his insecurity, but plays the role of confident by the repetition of affirmative narratives, which he shields himself from criticism of, by focusing his attention on others who partake in a similar narrative, thus avoiding any serious challenge which could otherwise overturn a lifetimes work, and the careful construction, of his protective world view. 

The securely insecure man undermines his ability to procreate by dropping his external political barriers, often leaving himself exposed, which may frighten a fear based female, yet realistically should actually be revered by more evolved members of the female gender. The 'what you see is what you get' factor should, at least in theory, alleviate the female's fears of any hidden surprises or 'skeletons' in ones closet. 

The confident man is a manipulative man, a man who can think only in terms of his immediate wants without regard for the perils associated with his hubris. Perhaps from the standpoint of the female, the confident male does not really appease her fears but stimulates them through the promise of excitement, just as an adrenaline rush might accompany any voyage into a dark cave, or leap from a high mountain top. The excitement of trusting someone who she knows she should probably NOT TRUST,  is the appeal of what is often called 'the bad boy'; this is what he offers her, a joy ride, albeit an 'emotional roller-coaster' one. 

The less confident or insecure man, at his extreme, is at least a cautious one, a sensible man, one who methodically and tentatively plots his daily course. This certainty and monotony, although safe, is unbearable to a sense infatuated female. It's not what she's signed up for. In reality, what she wants is the best of both, but such men are rare these days, and I doubt whether most women would be able to recognize such a Man even if she were standing right next to him. Inability to raise ones awareness above normal perception dooms the bulk of humanity to forever be as a rat on a treadmill, exhausting valuable energy with none to little moral advancement. 

It is the females who do the choosing (make no mistake) and it's my belief they will forever be doomed to chose excitement over reliability. They first make the mistake of believing in the myth of the economic prosperity of the assertive and confident man as being a promise of 'security', when the truly sustainable and nurturing relationship is possible only in the reliability of the emotionally developed and much 'less confident' male.

The females desire for the more confident male probably stems from our distant past, when it was the males confidence and competence which was better able to shield the her from predators, provide resources, and protect her offspring. We now live in a world where these irrational fears no longer apply, yet the primal desires persist, which is what I believe keeps the world from making any significant moral progress, and getting past this perpetual entropic cycle of empire rise-peak-and decline.

Dirty CT   November 2011

Response Ability

 I would like to honour those who, due to their tremendous courage and compassion, have put themselves on the line, and stood up in defence of the defenceless. Despite those who profit from and exploit conflict at the expense of those combattants who sincerely want to help.

Something we all share

When should a nation or individual engage in conflict? Many claim to not like war, or make arguments to endorse it as a necessary evil, but it's much easier to make such a claim if they are not the ones who are physically engaged in the conflict. To actually put oneself on the line should not be motivated by the gratification of potential accolades or social approval, but by assessing the gravity of a situation, and making the necessary introspection into ones soul to determine honestly what ones role, and measured response should be.

Humans love freedom, and the soulmate of freedom is responsibility, a 'Response Ability' to one another directly, and in the informed ethical choices we make with the currency we spend. We have four 'Response Ability' options to chose from, let's walk through them.

choice number one: to over respond (violence, physical and verbal/to fight)

choice number two: to under respond (Flight/ to hide, run or cower)

choice number three: to not respond (defiant inertia, state of grace, arms folded at peace)

choice number four: a measured response (combination of pro-action, communication, and trust)

Let's throw away the first two, they both lead to no good, like putting past the hole, or falling short, both are failures. This leaves the last two. Obviously the correct response is a measured response, one which carefully balances the many variables at play (Force/Surrender/Trust/Respect) into a kind of sweet spot, we often refer to it as being in the zone, full integration of both right and left hemispheres of the brain. But collectively, as a species, are not there yet, we hope someday soon to be there, which is why at this point now we must chose the other option. 

The other option of which I speak is 'to not respond'. It can easily be confused with under response, but there is an important difference.

To not respond is to be meditative, to be the arbiter of one's cadence, it doesn't mean to never respond, merely to respond at a rate that is comfortable to the responder. Saving the potential to be used once a proper balance is achieved, however long that may take. To not respond is to say no to manipulation, to chose not to chose, to wait until an intuitive understanding is achieved. It can be viewed by those of action to appear indecisive, People who chose to act, perceive inaction as a state of limbo or an eternal purgatory. They act out of fear for the fear of he who hesitates is lost, when in fact he who believes he who hesitates is lost is lost. 

Fear will drive a subject to act irrationally, believing that any action is better than no action. Much of our foreign affairs policy is based on this, by at least having the appearance of being decisive. This is viewed by the unconscious members of the public as being infinitely superior to a flat footed passivity, yet M. Gandhi proved otherwise, and Lao-Tzu spoke of the pathless path as being the path to enlightenment. Non-response mesmerizes and confuses the fearful, yet it is ridiculed by them, it infuriates them, it holds the mirror to them and it forces their hand.

The Mirror will reflect the ugly fearful gaze back as truth, and this truth will cause pain, and those who hold the mirror will be hated, by those who hold hate in their hearts. The hate they feel is self-hate, but they will never blame themselves, to do this is to absorb guilt, and guilt is the hardest weight a soul may bear. This is why many people smother or deny their soul, and develop a thick callous to protect their true selves by the fabrication of and deification of their external ego. But you are not such a person, for if you were, you never would have read this far, my words would have caused you too much pain, and would have been rejected with a repulsion as water explodes when poured onto hot oil.

Those who are comfortable in their temples of self-gratification sense the walls of their temples becoming thinner and thinner. They hear the clock ticking tick tick tick, like Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Tell Tale Heart'. Humanity is calling, our race is crying out, those of us who sense we have done something which must be undone and must do that which is still not done, are accelerating their cadence with a deterministic confidence, precise and meditative, unflappable and unstoppable, on a mission to inject soul back into the dying heart of humanity, an attempt to jump start our dormant capacity for compassion, laid waste by the pacifying properties of our satiated desires. Lies, are now seen for what they are, Yet The fearful still seek to control, however the more they do, the more things get out of control. They destroy that which they fear, but that which they destroy returns stronger than ever, the higher they climb the ladder, the greater their fall will be. Now Seven billions awaken, and will scramble for their freedom enacting a measured response, before our little house burns to the ground.

You will be called spineless, or even 'passive aggressive', for you have robbed them of their motivations and justifications for  engaging in conflict, and because they know you have ascended to a level beyond the event horizon of external ego which they have been incapable of achieving. for them it's conquer or be conquered, and they wish to spread this meme throughout the planet, because in order to win another must lose. This is their drug, victory, acquired through struggle, to explain to them that the same goal can be achieved by not struggling is too much for them to accept. They hate you for your victory over ego, a conundrum they've not been able to solve. To go with the flow, and use the momentum of the attacker against himself is the foundation of gentle martial arts like Aikido.

Resistance is futile, comply, surrender, and watch their empires collapse under the weight of their own greed.

Be prepared to be mocked, slandered, ignored, reviled, your mirror shows them a reflection of their false self, they would rather die marching toward destruction than admit their lives were based on a false premise, yet always remember, although we may still have a long way to go, it's always better to be at the bottom of a ladder you DO want to climb then halfway up one you do not.

In a tug of war, let the rope go, your opponent may 'win', but I assure you, You will stand with dignity, while the 'victor' has fallen on his ass.

Dirty CT   November 2011

Bitches With Altitude (Fly The Unfriendly Skies)

Everything you could ever desire, young man

"Thank you for flying the unfriendly skies of BWA (Bitches With Altitude), please sit back and be comfortable, would you like your complimentary nuts served now? We can give them to you tied up, vacuum packed and 'roasted', or perhaps you would prefer them to be "CRUSHED"? Our 'soup of the day' is called REVENGE, a dish best served cold. Your in-fight magazine is available in the flap in front of you, please leave it rolled up so we can better smack you across the head should you step 'out of line'. If air-turbulence becomes 'too rough', and we have to make an emergency landing, crouch down and stick your head between your legs and kiss your sphincter muscle a final goodbye, should you somehow miraculously survive, make sure to then put on your inflatable vest before jumping into the choppy seas... oh, and don't forget to leave your wallet neatly folded on the top of your seat. A headset will also be made available for your listening pleasure, feel free to enjoy melodies from many different musical genres… however, if you're looking for 'love songs' written for men by adoring women, then FORGET IT!!!  There are no such songs in the discography of Humanity!!!" *

More often than not, I hear a 'similar story' coming from the lives and relationships of those I encounter on a daily basis. The narrative goes something like this: The guy is usually a kind of a 'happy-go-lucky' type, not unlike a big ol' dog, just wanting to joke, play and eat food, having a bit of fun from time to time, combining 'creative activities' with his daily work. But the sad reality is, these kinds of guys usually end up aligning themselves with very high ranking officials at BWA. As a man, to be dating or married to one of these types, is to experience a holographic parallel to all those other guys 'stuck' in a similar situation. 

'Likes attract', and knowing this, I refuse to solely accuse our uptight flight attendants. 

Usually, members of BWA are very "career oriented" individuals, who enjoy a "lifestyle" which combines elements such as 'Yoga' 'Weight Watcher's' 'Mac Laptops', and their accompanying 'iPhone' or 'Blackberry' in order to better 'text message' any one of their 508 Facebook "friends", whilst sipping on their Venti non-fat 'Chai Latte's' from Starbuck's. Why am I being so hard on these kinds of women? Maybe it's because I haven't been laid in a while, or perhaps it's because I held too much false hope for most members of the fairer sex, in comparison to the monster truck warring overgrown toddlers we call 'Men', Women were my last hope for our species. Now, to be a 'woman' it seems, is to celebrate and revel in this newfound bitchy power paradigm, as more and more Women are enlisting to become 'card carrying members' of BWA.**  

The worst part of BWA enrolment is intertwined with the unforgiving and immutable 'laws of attraction'. These princesses can always expect to wind up with any one of two types of male. The ubiquitous self-centred asshole whose personal obsessions mirrors the woman's own narcissism, or the "EUWW" also known as the Emasculated and Ubiquitous Western Wuss…there are very few exceptions to this rule. So for any man reading this, the first thing you must ask yourself when entering into a relationship with this kind of woman is: "Do I feel lucky???"  well, do ya, PUNK!?

Put down that weapon, Dirty HC

Entering into a relationship with this kind of woman (or so I've observed) is to tempt fate. But the 'catch' is this: due to any given BWA member's ability to highly regulate and withhold her affections, any man with 'low self-esteem' feels empowered once able to win the affections of this kind of woman, giving him all the ego-gratification of one who has just managed to 'bust' some kind of 'bitch bronco'…HEY, what a trophy!!!…But the reality is, she has only chosen at this point in time to play the 'nice' card, probably unrelated to any good thing you think you may have done!  (always remember, be careful what you wish for, "DUDE"!)***  

BWA attendants can be at times very 'nice', even supportive…they will laugh at your 'jokes' and even take an 'interest' in your 'passions'; the really skilled ones actually even believe their own lies. At this point, all seems to be going well, then you decide, based on this delusion, to take the relationship to 'another level', after all, she has chosen YOU above all the other guys, that's right "YOU", and don't forget what mommy always told you "YOU'RE SPECIAL!!!"   BWA has given you your new sense of self-worth 'externally', and for this reason, you are now dependent on HER for a 'safe journey', and when locked into a highly pressurized cabin at 36 000 feet, pulling the 'escape hatch' is just not an option.

BWA always Knows where it's going!

Soon the mood darkens, as you pass through a storm cell, you're both now at the mercy of any in-flight turbulence, because while you were eating your 'Chicken Cacciatore' or dozing off watching your 'in-flight movie', a BWA member managed to stealthily tighten your seatbelt without you realizing it (that is to say, all the points of mutual attachment: the car, the house, and in a worse case scenario,the KIDS)..  At that point, unless you are an unforgiving asshole alpha-male equipped with a golden parachute and a lot of nerve, you can kiss your autonomy goodbye!  

Now she begins to dictate the new terms of your reality, always knowing the Travel Authorities are on her side, she also knows her 'rights' better than you do yours…she can predict your behaviour in advance and has a sixth sense when it comes to understanding your deepest fears; she exploits your weaknesses and uses them against you, she controls your desires and your fears through a combination of positive and negative reinforcement, because at this altitude, she can't afford to be at the mercy, and capricious whims, of an irate male passenger.****

This is why the BWA flight attendant has kept her 'playing cards' so close to her chest all this time, she wants total control over her life, and at this moment, you are a piece of that life, like that soulless piece of Ikea modular furniture purchased together one rainy Saturday 27 months ago. If your wishes are not in concordance with her wishes, she must then at least have the ability to control you too. 

 I don't blame these women though, females have historically been shit upon by men, and perhaps this BWA phenomenon is simply our 21st century 'karmic comeuppance'. 

                                                                                ~END~

any resemblance in this post to persons living or dead is purely coincidental

*(Although many men have written songs honouring the first names of just about every woman who ever lived, from South Bend Indiana to the South Sandwich Islands, so far I've come up empty in my search for love songs written by women for men. There are some songs women have written about men, like Carly Simon's "You're So Vain", or a plethora of other tunes critical of men, none however have been written in adoring praise of their male partners, or more specifically actual men's first names. I have come to the conclusion that the only men most women truly 'love' are either (A) their daddies, (B) their sons,© their brothers or (D) none of the above…ok, possibly their hairdresser, or some really 'cool' gay guy.)

**(If you are a woman, ask yourself this question, for fun: "Am I a bitch?" How could you objectively know. What might be the characteristics of a bitch to one, might seem docile and feminine by another's standards. So based on this, I can only give you my subjective view of what a bitch is. A bitch is generally an pathologically unsmiling woman, one who uses the fear based repression of her gentle nature to intimidate, manipulate, and assert herself in social environments she is either threatened by, or assumes to be hostile. It is a self-defence mechanism she uses to protect herself based on the perception that if she doesn't, a highly competitive and manipulative world will either subdue or consume her, . This way of being probably 'works' for some women, or at least appears to on a superficial level, but the only way to truly determine to what degree it 'works', would be to gauge the level of tender intimacy these types of women achieve in their lives.) 

***(Remember, when observing a potential member of BWA,  I'm always convinced she wants to be MORE than just a member, what she wants is an actual 'member'! ;) ;)  I'm predicting, should we survive a 2012 Mayan apocalypse (which in my opinion, at this point ,is 50/50 at best), the next fashion trend to supplant tattoos and piercings will be 'hormone injections' allowing women to grow beards. moustaches, sideburns and 'soul patches'. And together with her newly casted and colour matching phallus, at that point, she can proceed to happily subjugate my gender, with all the deterministic fervour to which my gender has historically subjugated hers.)

****(My own experience with these kinds of women are as follows: when in a situation where it is impossible to make 'a flight connection', (ie: she is married, in a committed relationship, or sitting in a shuttle bus going in the opposite direction), then and only then, will you see her 'friendly' or even 'flirtatious' side. But cross her unprepared at an untimely intersection, or sit next to her at the airport bar, she will use all her willpower to avoid making any contact with you. It's actually quite astonishing as to what level she will go to to negate your existence)

Dirty CT   November 2011