|The O looks like the @ sign (a bit)|
Are there any women who truly seek to bond with a man? If the answer is YES, then where are these women, clicking away on their Macbooks at cafe's? But If the answer is EVERYWHERE, then you must be able to determine which women actually WANT this bond, and by understanding their unique methods of communicating their desire.
With whom do they wish to engage in this act of mating? And if it's possibly YOU, how must YOU act, speak and look, in order to reaffirm, and thus satisfy their desire? Another crucial question is: What also must a male not do? This, of course, will depend upon the whims and capricious nature of the human female.
A man can easily sabotage a woman's desire for intimate sexual relations by revealing information about his individual imperfections which may in turn have the negative effect of 'switching off' a given females desire. It has been my observation that women are attracted to a 'perception of confidence', and turned off by a 'perception of insecurity'.
As a prospective male, it's far better to be a confident fool or asshole, then a righteous yet insecure moral person, as it relates to the act of mating itself. However, the quality of ones life, should a relationship ensue, will likely suffer by maintaining a life philosophy of mutual bullshitting and deception, for you will attract those certain females of the species who are more easily seduced due to their lack of better judgement.
Once a bond takes place, often due to 'mutual attraction', all the dysfunction inherent in these individuals then manifests as problems or drama in their collective lives.
The ability of the male to 'project confidence' relieves the fears of a foolish female, by virtue of her ability to believe the myth of the males projected security. Contrast this to the females repugnance of 'male insecurity', which agitates and exacerbates the female's already fearful disposition. The insecure male is actually just being honest in his realization that he is but a small factor in a very large and often judgemental world. The confident man perhaps realizes his insecurity, but plays the role of confident by the repetition of affirmative narratives, which he shields himself from criticism of, by focusing his attention on others who partake in a similar narrative, thus avoiding any serious challenge which could otherwise overturn a lifetimes work, and the careful construction, of his protective world view.
The securely insecure man undermines his ability to procreate by dropping his external political barriers, often leaving himself exposed, which may frighten a fear based female, yet realistically should actually be revered by more evolved members of the female gender. The 'what you see is what you get' factor should, at least in theory, alleviate the female's fears of any hidden surprises or 'skeletons' in ones closet.
The confident man is a manipulative man, a man who can think only in terms of his immediate wants without regard for the perils associated with his hubris. Perhaps from the standpoint of the female, the confident male does not really appease her fears but stimulates them through the promise of excitement, just as an adrenaline rush might accompany any voyage into a dark cave, or leap from a high mountain top. The excitement of trusting someone who she knows she should probably NOT TRUST, is the appeal of what is often called 'the bad boy'; this is what he offers her, a joy ride, albeit an 'emotional roller-coaster' one.
The less confident or insecure man, at his extreme, is at least a cautious one, a sensible man, one who methodically and tentatively plots his daily course. This certainty and monotony, although safe, is unbearable to a sense infatuated female. It's not what she's signed up for. In reality, what she wants is the best of both, but such men are rare these days, and I doubt whether most women would be able to recognize such a Man even if she were standing right next to him. Inability to raise ones awareness above normal perception dooms the bulk of humanity to forever be as a rat on a treadmill, exhausting valuable energy with none to little moral advancement.
It is the females who do the choosing (make no mistake) and it's my belief they will forever be doomed to chose excitement over reliability. They first make the mistake of believing in the myth of the economic prosperity of the assertive and confident man as being a promise of 'security', when the truly sustainable and nurturing relationship is possible only in the reliability of the emotionally developed and much 'less confident' male.
The females desire for the more confident male probably stems from our distant past, when it was the males confidence and competence which was better able to shield the her from predators, provide resources, and protect her offspring. We now live in a world where these irrational fears no longer apply, yet the primal desires persist, which is what I believe keeps the world from making any significant moral progress, and getting past this perpetual entropic cycle of empire rise-peak-and decline.
Dirty CT November 2011