The Problem

What's The Problem, and who is at fault?

It's not solely the fault of those evil and greedy corporate banksters,

nor the conspiracy theorists, or even the Occupy Wall Street crowd. Nor is it Al-Qaeda,

Alka-Seltzer, Al Capone, or ET Phone Home.

Nor is it the fault of M. Ahmedinejad or his half-brother James Dean-ejad, and it's certainly not the fault of the 'hedge fund hyenas', or Carlos 'the jackal', nor is it Jacques Brel, hair gel, the Eurotrash or Eurozone, the Marxists, the Feminists

the Atheists, the Christians, the Jews, the Blacks, the 'All-Blacks', black licorice, licorice root, root beer, root canals, The Panama Canal, Manuel Noriega, manual labour, the Labour Party, Gordon Brown, 'GoldenBrown', The Stranglers, 'new wave', the Mexican wave, tidal waves, tsunamis, Lao-Tzu, General Tao, Colonel Saunders, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Butter Chicken, Mango lassis, collies named 'Lassie', Rin Tin Tin, 'Snowy' the dog and Tin-Tin, The Tin Flute, Doug Flutie, The CFL, The NFL, the WLAF, The WWF, The W.H.O., The Who, Doctor Who, Horton Hears a Hoo, Tim Horton's, Dunkin' Donuts, Krispee Kreme, the 'Disraeli Gears' album by Cream, The 'White Album', The Beatles, the Rutles and Dirk McQuickly, Eric Idle and Monty Python, The Holy Grail, King Arthur, Bea Arthur, Maude, The Mods, the Rockers, Quadrophenia, nor schizophrenia.

And please don't blame our problems on The Knights Templar, Simon Templar, The Saint, The Prisoner, The Fugitive, Richard Kimble, David Janssen, 'Harry O', or Hawaii Five-O, Hawaiien Punch, Punch and Judy, Judge Judy, Judgement Day, Armageddon, Revelations, Genesis, Phil Collins, or even Judy Collins drinking a Tom Collins, or a Harvey Wallbanger, watching 'Harvey' the invisible rabbit, starring Jimmy Stewart, who was also in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, with John Wayne, or Wayne's World with Mike Meyers, or Oscar Meyer, Oscar Madison, Madison Square Garden, the garden of Eden, Barbara Eden, I Dream Of Genie, Bewitched, Dick York, New York,, the Manhattan project, Project Blue Book, The Roswell Incident, Area 51, Studio 54, Disco Music, Rap Music, or Gil Scott Heron.

It's not the fault of Don Cherry, Scott Oake, or an oak cask of single malt, pine wood mouldings, or mahogany furniture , nor is it the fault of Mahogany Rush, or Rush and Geddy Lee, Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Jet Ski, Gretzsky, Red Skis, Red Skelton, Red Story, Story Musgrave, the Space Shuttle, NASA, Nassau, The Bahama's, The Bermuda Triangle, Bermuda shorts, short bread cookies, the 'Cookie Monster', Kermit the Frog, Jim Henson, James Hanson's Global Warming, The Hanson Brothers, 'Slap Shot' with Paul Newman, Gary Numan, Gary Carter, Linda Carter, Wonder Woman, women's lib, The Liberal Party, The Tea Party, Sarah Palin, Michael Palin, 'A Fish Called Wanda', with Jamie Lee Curtis, Tony Curtis, Tony Randall, Felix Unger, Gary Unger, The St.Louis Blues, G.I. Blues, G.I.Gurdjieff and PD Ouspensky, PDF files Jpeg's, J-Lo, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Paris, France and the Eiffell Tower or the C.N. Tower in Toronto, nor Tonto and the Lone Ranger, Clayton Moore, Michael Moore, Michael Douglas, Douglas Addams, The Addams Family, The Munsters, Fred Gwynn, Gwynn Dyer, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Choprah, nor the Ubiquitous Oprah, and her 'O' Magazine, Mad Magazine, M.A.D.D. or Mothers with A.D.D. autism, 'down syndrome', The China Syndrome, Jane Fonda, Henry Fonda in 'Once Upon A Time In The West', or The Wicked Witch Of The West played by Margaret Hamilton, Princess Margaret, the royal family, Pippa Middleton, Rick Middleton, The Boston Bruins, the Boston marathon, The Olympic marathon, Abebe Bikila, Ethiopians, nor Utopians,

Not only is it not the fault of George Bush, Obama/Biden and Osama Bin Laden, M Ghadaffi or Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, Yosemite Sam, Sam I Am, Green Eggs and Ham and Dr Seuss, Hercules and the Mighty Zeus, the Centaur Newton eating 'Fig Newtons', or 'figgy pudding' and Bing Crosby, Jello Pudding and Bill Cosby, Sydney Crosby or Sydney Poitier, the Sydney Opera House, or The House of Wax with Vincent Price, playing the role of 'Egghead' in Batman with Adam West, or Mae West, or the 'May Day' parade.

It's not 'Jeopardy', nor 'the Wheel of Fortune',The Price Is Right and Bob Barker, Spiderman and Peter Parker

It's not so much the fault of Fox news, nor Michael J Fox, Michael Jordan, the King of Jordan

or the King of Rock n' Roll, Elvis Presley, Elvis Costello, Abbott and Costello, Laurel and Hardy

Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Ubervilles, The Hounds of The Baskervilles, or an 'American Werewolf in London' or Jack London, Jack Kerouac and the 'beat writers', or The English Beat and 'Ranking Roger', Roger Ramjet, and the

ramjet engine, Mr. Conductor and 'Thomas The Tank Engine', St.Thomas Aquinas, St.Francis of

Assisi, or Francis Bacon with Eggs with Toast, nor even six degrees of Kevin Bacon…

The problem is: those godless 'Black Friday' hoards of contemptuous and gluttonous 'consumers' grabbing anything and everything they can get their greedy little hands on, without care or conscience of consequence, discarding all dignity whilst attempting in vain to landfill the vast wasteland of their empty and wretched existence.

Dirty CT November 2011