Sunday, January 23, 2011

Baby Doc Anyone?

Baby duck doc anyone?

If it quacks like a duck...

In a move that surprised, shocked, and confused many a concerned citizen the world over, Jean-Claude Duvalier, un-endearingly known as 'baby doc', made a surprising return to Haiti after 25 years of self-imposed exile. Duvalier, need I remind everyone, does not require any introduction here. Apparently, baby doc (not to be confused with 'baby duck', which was a popular sweet wine consumed by many unsuspecting and inexperienced young drinkers way back when, which usually left an after-taste that was just as horrible as the other baby's political regime's legacy) returned to carry out his so-called messianic mission to 'reconstruct and save' Haiti from its seemingly desperate and apocalyptic present condition. The initial thought reflex from most people, myself included, was: a) that dude is still alive? And b) what balls this guy has returning to the country he so despotically ran under his corrupt and schizogenic regime. Equally as confusing and unsettling, were the cheers and chants the baby received upon his arrival at Port-au-Prince airport, from what I can only guess, were coming from a group of blindly desperate Haitians looking for anything or anyone to return some form of hope and fortune to their belleagered and challenged country? Perhaps, in some twisted and self-deluded fantasy, baby doc imagined he could somehow take advantage of a weakened and desperate population, who would somehow embrace Duvalier as their new saviour. Could someone please spell the words 'miscalculation' and 'insane'!

In the latest news or course, perhaps to save itself from embarrassment, the local Haitian authorities arrested and charged Duvalier on charges of corruption, theft and misappropriation of funds that occurred during the doc's 15 year tenure as 'president'. Notice, there are no charges, let alone allegations, linking baby doc to untold numbers of Haitians killed and tortured under the doc's 15 year long playdate (not to mention the many hundreds of thousands who fled for safety to orther countries)? So, as 'ol bugs would say, “what's up doc” with that? The conspiratorial tone coming from the streets and the Haitian media, is that French and American political interests and influences colluded to deliver baby doc back to his former playground in a plot to overthrow the current and equally unpopular and corrupt René Préval, who recently has been accused of rigging recent elections in Haiti. Although, as I see it, Préval has a loooooooong way to go in order to fill baby doc's dictatorially soiled diapers! I don't know what to think about that theory however, as it is, for all intents and purposes, quite linear in scope. But, baby doc's return does give off quite a bad smell indeed, like something that has the rotten stench of a scripted event. I have to wonder though if baby doc was not setup by some interests/influences/forces (the infamous 'they'), by setting up a pretty benign and successful trap, in the guise of a promise of a return to power for a pathetically power blind and thirsty dictator junky. Perhaps the baby was easily duped by an old trick. Could this have been a form of blackmail orchestrated in a manner à la mode de 'mission impossible'? Anything is possible in a world with no shortage of motive, deceit and lies. Other dictators were fooled and double-crossed in the past by the very hands that fed them. Sadaam Hussein being the one salient historically recent example that comes to mind.
On the subject of dictators, and on the heels of recent scientific news involving the recreation of woolly mammoths from prehistoric genetic material (BTW, another insane human folly), I cannot but imagine what would happen if our brave and nutty scientific community decided to reanimate former dictatorial superstars such Hitler and Pol Pot? I wonder if mankind would eventually reanimate former dictators with the ultimate aim to return these ghostly abominations back to their countries of origin where the deceased dictators (i.e. the genetic donors) committed their atrocities, for the inevitable purpose of awaiting trial for crimes against humanity. How absurd that would be. What would be worse though, the dictators' dark acts and atrocities or the thoughtless acts of scientists involved in reanimating dictator simulacrum from the grave? In any event, just as absurd is the news of baby doc's incomprehensible and overconfident return to Haiti last week.

Well, as the old saying goes: “if it look likes a duck doc, if it walks like a duck doc and if it quacks like a duck doc, then it's a fucking duck (baby) doc!!!”

Pierre Duranleau aka Cafargo (no longer contributing to this site)


  1. I cancel my subscription to Cafargo
    why say bad things about baby?
    me no babies!!!
    it could be worse... Foetus Doc maybe?

  2. Okay then SFTAbyss. But, you will have to return the complementory jar of bovine testicle anti-aging cream I sent you, the one that came with your subscription as a special gift !

  3. I remember drinking baby duck in a cheap motel with my ex wife with strawberry bubble bath .Thats all I remember and its just as well.And by the way Cafargo gives better news coverage than the Wall Street Journal !