Friday, July 1, 2011

Crop This!

  For many years now I've had a passing interest in the 'Crop Circle' phenomenon. We here at 'the Abyss' like to give a fair shake to all aspects of the human experience, so why not this one?
An intergalactic recipe?
Living on the margins of society frees me up to explore other aspects of life that do not always dovetail with consensus reality. I've learned that If you want to 'make it' with the 'rational' crowd, you better stick to simplistic things like 'two cheek kisses' at cocktail parties, left-right political discourse, and a working knowledge of the 'latest' hip HBO series.

However, if you wish to flirt with flakiness, dance with delusion, or just be a plain ol' outcast and pariah like myself, then you may be interested in opening up the hood a little, poking around or even turning over a few sacred stones.
For those who know little to nothing of this phenomenon, let me give you my brief synapsis of what it 's all about.

'Crop Circles' are diagrams or pictograms, impressed in field crops (barley, wheat, corn, rapeseed…etc) and are often not even circular at all.  They are a phenomenon that dates back many centuries, but only now, at the end of the 20th and beginning of the 21st century, have commanded any kind of global attention, most probably due to a combination of pervasive media culture and increased 'circle' complexity.

Back in the early 1990's a couple of Englishmen set out to confuse the world as to the origins of these mysterious circles, they were known as 'Doug and Dave', a couple of old codgers from the local liars club who claimed to have created the circles using little more than boards and rope. That explanation was all the mildly curious needed to hear to dismiss the phenomenon outright and sending them back to sleep in Normalsville. There were never any serious challenges in the media or scientific community to these fellow's extraordinary claims, because their simplistic explanation allowed any of our many irrational subconscious fears to rest for just a wee bit longer.
Unexplained phenomena make people feel uneasy, we like to think we've 'got a grip' on reality, and when a monkey wrench like this is thrown into the machinery, delusions of grandeur and self-importance are quickly threatened, and the damage control 'weapon of choice' is usually ridicule. Since the shaming components of ridicule are too devastating for most to endure, we turn our backs on this reality, ignoring it's simple beauty, scale, precision and artistic brilliance.

Despite this denial, the 'Crop Circle' phenomenon only grew more complex throughout the 90's, as if to say "Deny this!" and by the time the twenty first century arrived, the crop formations were becoming so complex and abundant that the mainstream media's response was to ignore them outright, leaving the uninformed to pass judgement on something they knew very little about.

I don't know what the bleep they are, who made them or why, but there are some interesting questions which arise when you learn the facts and start asking questions of your own.

Although there have been 'circles' reported in many countries around the world, England seems to be the epicentre of the most abundant and intriguing formations, why?

Actually southern England to be precise, and more specifically, areas in Oxfordshire, Wiltshire, and other adjacent counties, which also happens to be home to some of Britain's most ancient megalithic sites. These formations occur with great regularity over the summer months, pissing off local farmers, without anybody ever getting caught, charged, or even attacked with a pitch fork…why, why, why???

In urban areas we've grown accustomed to seeing the ubiquitous 'tag' of local graffiti 'artists'. Their 'tag' is designed to draw attention to their 'accomplishment'-also known as vandalism. Crop formations are the rural equivalents to this type of vandalism (except that they are intelligent in design), yet the designers in this continue to remain anonymous, why?(once again)
  Now as works of art, they rival any wrapped nonsense the artist 'Christo' can produce, yet unlike 'Christo', the makers of the 'circles' don't appear to have armies of people helping them construct their artistic goal. What's interesting too, is that these often massive formations, upon close investigation, have their stocks of crop neatly flattened, unbroken and interwoven, unlike the crude snapping and breaking which occurs with 'Doug and Dave's'  plank and board method.

So who is making these things, dare I mention the 'A' word? before we even go there, we have to work with the most basic premise, which is: they are made by humans, because chances are unlikely they're made by either giraffe, wildebeest, or some long lost cousin of the dodo bird.
If regular people are responsible for making these, what technology do they use? they must certainly have a deep understanding of geometry, design, and an ability to deploy these images using stealth, and with great precision.
They do this without any recognition for their accomplishment, no government grant, no interviews on entertainment programs, no dinner gala's with celebrity starlets or photo opportunities with Obama or Pippa Middleton or Justin Bieber, and yet, without any financial reward or social recognition, still manage a healthy yearly output of formations.

 Have any of our brightest scientist or engineers cared to make any attempt to explain just how some common people could manage such a feat?  Given the time limitations of not being caught, and all the mathematical/geometrical precision involved in creating these formations, AND, if they are created during the overnight hours, how do the perpetrators manage to conduct the operation without lighting up half of England's west countryside? (maybe dey woking fo' de gubment?- a psi-op?)

There are many plausible otherworldly explanations though, because the universe is not only BIG enough and OLD enough to have created an intelligent species F A R in advance of mankind. 'Where' they come from is not of great importance either, because the possibilities are virtually limitless in both inner and outer space.
Despite the ridicule and assumptions about 'space aliens' and 'tin foil hats', combined with the conspicuous inattention of the media, the crop circle phenomenon persists to this day, with little fanfare, delighting and giving pause for thought, to those of us who still hold the ineffable wonder of the natural world with awe and reverence.

Dirty CT  July 2011

            ~Crop Circle Video...Spooky Stuff~

"Here We Go..."
Is it possible though, that a consciousness much older and advanced than humankind is trying to introduce itself gently into our reality, waking up the collective over decades, and easing us into some kind of evolutionary paradigm shift? This reality, along with it's sister phenomenon the U.F.O. 'reality' are mirror images of one another. The crop formations provide the evidence without a clear cause, and the U.F.O.'s are seen and correlated by thousands of credible witnesses, yet produce little, if any, physical traces…it's as if the two phenomenon occupy each others positive and negative space!
Everyone loves a theory, O.K. maybe not everyone, but here's my wild guess..What kind of world will we have, and how will we relate to one another after a global currency meltdown, nuclear meltdown, or environmental/climactic collapse? Might these formations be a kind of trigger to help jumpstart our evolutionary leap into a species that questions reality and our relationship to a quantum universe and nature and each other more profoundly then we have been, as we must eventually move from that of a tribal minded consumer based consciousness to something more eternal? (think: 2001 A Space Odyssey)

Note: this year's formations are really, really BAD!!! -they look as if they have been drafted by an eight year old….did the 'space beings' pick up and leave?  and now we hapless humans are being forced to do some kind of 'crop improv?, Or perhaps they are trying to get our attention by 'underwhelming us'?  Certainly someone capable of making precise and complex formations would also have the ability to make bad ones too… just a thought!

Some lame formations so far in 2011:


  1. I don't know what the origins of crop circles are, what the deal is with this Justin Bieber fascination, and don't care about Pippa Middleton, but here is one thing I do know...a double minor and 10 minute misconduct for using the word "dovetail'.

  2. Not a fan of carpentry Mr.Kwong? I don't know why J.Bieber and P. Middleton are so fascinating to people either, I suspect we'll solve the riddle of the crop circles long before we ever figure that one out.

  3. Oh I've got nothing against carpentry..just not a fan of using the word "dovetail" in non carpentry situations. Kinda like the way I'm alright with S & M, but I don't want the grocery store clerk tying me up and whipping when I head down to Provigo to buy frozen pizzas.

  4. Here, here...and especially if the grocery store clerk is a Man.
    Ingesting a processed frozen pizza is masochistic enough!
    As for the use of the word "dovetail" I suppose I could have written "fits well" and rendered my post a little more drab, but why stop there? while I'm on a roll, I think I'll crack open a couple of gallons of grey paint and start painting the world in shades of monotone.