Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Footprints Of The Gods

Not since Leonard Nimoy (AKA Mr. Spock) spooked us on his seminal program In Search Of, and the Six Million Dollar Man, (AKA Steve Austin: a man barely alive) fought Bigfoot (AKA Andre The Giant) back in the 1970's over a bottle of Neo-Traxin and the tender affections of Stephanie Powers, had interest in the Sasquatch been so high.

Even the Skeptics community had determined the supposed Sasquatch DNA evidence to be 'interesting', which from them was practically an admission in and of itself.

That Stephanie Powers, she's quite a gal
It had certainly appeared that Bigfoot was in fact real, a man/ ape bipedal humanoid (or something like that) living in the vast forested wilderness of continental North America. The timing of the announcement was an interesting one too, perhaps having deflected some of the cosmic attention from the 2012 meme. 

Or perhaps it had been an attempt to redirect public attention from important things, like systemic financial malfeasance, the mistreatment of underclass ethnic groups in politically sensitive regions of the globe, or the recent closing of the factory that had produced for us all those delicious Hostess Twinkies.

Many within the scientific community had then been poised to accept the inevitability that if Bigfoot existed, then his Asian cousin, the Yeti, must also be 'alive and well' too, as abominable a prospect as that may have seemed.

It was the Yeti's finest hour
I sure hoped so (in those days)... but had I known how people were going to handle it, I probably should have hoped otherwise.

Hunting licenses, prize reward money, appearances on The Late Show, along with the ubiquitous 5$ petting zoos, had soon become 'all the rage', courtesy of the entrepreneurial good-graces of profiteering scumbags.  

Across the pacific, the chinese had set up a million man 'search and rescue' operation to methodically comb the daunting expanse of the Tibetan plateau, looking possibly to find themselves yet another Yeti.  

At least we North Americans had had the decency to treat these gentle creatures as curious oddities… our oriental friends were anxiously devising cantonese cookbooks, and ingesting their chafed yellow toenails as a cure for erectile dysfunction.

These days though, we have no problem with the idea of mythical beings populating our planet, in fact we think it's really cool. If someone walks out and says they saw a pterodactyl, or Elvis, then sure, we generally believe them… even though pterodactyls have been extinct for about 60 million years (give or take 8000 centuries), or that Elvis would have been 'one hundred and five' three weeks from tuesday. 

Future CT    Village 5,  Nova Avalon      Year 17 P.T.E.

1 comment:

  1. piece of trivia: dirty ct's little sister was terrified of the six million dollar man "big foot" episode. even looking at the photo brought back the sense of trauma.